Killing Pain: Understanding the Opioid Pandemic and the American Obsession with Oxycontin, Heroin, and Other Painkillers
by Robert Hayward
Kindle eBook $9.99 ~ available in Paperback
A man plumbs the depths in a struggle with opioid addiction in this searing memoir.
Hayward was sober after decades of heavy drinking and owned a swimming pool construction business in Southern California when, in the early 2000s, he started taking the opioid OxyContin for back pain. The drug eliminated the pain and induced a euphoric high, but while it was touted as nonaddictive, it proved quite the opposite. The author was soon snorting huge quantities every day to appease his craving; stealing money from his company to support his habit, which he fed with prescriptions and illicit street purchases; and alienating his family and employees with his manic bluster.
Hayward finally went cold turkey at his isolated ranch in the Sierras, whereupon the memoir becomes a squalid but gripping story of wilderness survival. Snowed in at a freezing cabin with bears prowling outside, he endured horrific withdrawal symptoms.
The author's account lays bare the dynamics of opioid dependency, from the corrupt collusion of doctors in promoting addiction to the egotism and hubris of addicts in imagining they can control their habits. His prose is vivid and evocative in conveying the rush of opioid highs and unsparing on the relentless taskmasters the drugs become.
When Hayward finally writes of gleaning hope from God, his redemption feels authentic and moving.
An engrossing account of degradation and hard-fought recovery.
