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2017 Independent Author Network Winner - Best Comedy / Satire Novel
What a mess. This was not supposed to happen.
This isn’t where Nick Owen thought he would be by this point in life. He used to be a busy web programmer. Now he spends most of his energy trying to stop his three-year-old twins from playing in a dirty sand pit. Nick thinks of himself as Daddy 3.0, a stay-at-home-dad—but he just wasn’t programmed for this.
He must navigate a new world of jungle gyms and playdates while supporting his surgeon wife. He tries his best to be there for the twins, but he can’t stop making a mess of things. He’s just about nearing the end of his rope when the Swing Incident happens. The Swing Incident, spoken of in hushed tones around Nick’s New York City apartment building, has caused the resident queen bee, nicknamed “Supermom,” to declare him an enemy for life. No matter what Nick does to get back into Supermom’s good graces, he fails spectacularly.
Now Nick’s going to have to learn to fight fire with fire and become the best superparent on the block. This hilarious new book by Rob Armstrong chronicles one man’s journey into the world of modern fatherhood—one botched haircut, playground fight, and dirty diaper at a time.
Stay-at-home-dads have a new hero, of sorts.
A Kindle Unlimited Comedy
Amazon Reviews
"This book is great I could not put it down."
"You have to love a dad who is just doing his best to keep home and kids under control AND keep his wife happy."
"This was incredibly enjoyable and made me feel a bond with the author. This is a simple, quick read, that is thoroughly enjoyable and entertaining."
"You will laugh out loud, as you can absolutely picture the scenes. Anyone who has kids, whether a dad or mom, will relate with these experiences and thoroughly enjoy the ride."
"This novel, rich with detail and wit, brings the characters to life. I feel like I know Nick Owen and his chaotic children. Armstrong brilliantly chronicles the evolution of a man and his relationships. A must read!"
Other Reader Reviews
“Hilarious daddy 3.0..story about a computer geek turned stay at home dad..the best part someone asks towards the end, my husband is the oldest version 1.0, where can I upgrade him cheap..wish the author would have given a link for the upgrade” – Mathangi Sri, India
"It did not take me long to read this book simply because, once started, I didn't want to stop reading. The only thing slowing me down were the tears in my eyes from laughing so much. The situational comedy was absolutely hilarious. I kept thinking, "I'd love to see this movie." The quality of the writing added to the reading pleasure. If this is the first book, I look forward to his second, third and more.” - Chuck Hossack, PA
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Officer Gordon Butler and his overanxious trainee Dakota Ayala are dispatched to a scene where they find a woman named Melody White who has been stabbed to death. Gordon is not surprised. He’d been called to that address several times to confront Jacob Hulsey who had stalked the victim. The neighbor who placed the call to the Rocky Bluff Police Department reported seeing Hulsey there the night before. But when another neighbor says Melody’s ex-husband had threatened her, and then one of Melody’s co-workers at the day care center where they worked reported a clash between Melody and her boss, suspects seem to be multiplying like Russian nesting dolls. And to add to the difficulty of sorting it all out, Gordon’s new partner is making moves on Gordon’s wife, and detective Doug Milligan’s daughter Beth has become moody and secretive. At least two of the suspects and maybe some others are weaving tangled webs.
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Death has gripped the throat of middle America
Random people are being heinously murdered, with the bodies displayed in the most horrific way.
Detective John Chandless is a thick-skinned officer from New York who had apprehended the most depraved men in the barrios. Perhaps he had underestimated the the evil in the heart of the country. Kansas shouldn’t be so harsh compared to the City, but murder has no favorite state. How could this veteran detective be stumped?
Partner, Simin Khouri, was a "unique" detective to say the least. She used psychic profilers to solve her cases. Although her conviction rate was just as good as anyone else's, John didn't believe in her "hocus-pocus" techniques. He worked with facts until this troubling case didn't provide any. What do you do when there is no evidence? He grudgingly asked Simin for assistance, and she was glad to give it.
Simon introduced him to Anezka Kranz, her Czech psychic profiler. Could this sweet, simple woman help his case? Although John had investigated the most perplexing cases for 17 years, Anezka showed him another way to find his predator — celestially.
Celestial Summoner: An Esoteric Paranormal Suspense Thriller Is filled with dark excitement, and begins with a whodunit situation that can only be resolved with the help of a Czechoslovakian with an ethereal gift.
When Burton and Speke returned from their quest for the Nile, no one knew Speke's nefarious plans. Only after the undead began stalking London did the Damocles Institute of Research and Exploration--DIRE--send their two best operatives to investigate. Jonathan Blackthorne--the Astounding Blackthorne, Magician Extraordinaire--and his fiancé Lady Rose Blakeney-Barrington, brilliant scientist and inventor, uncover the most dastardly plot imaginable. Can they and the other agents of DIRE save London before everyone becomes a shambling revenant?
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Ever Wonder What It Would Be Like To Have Super Powers?
What would you do if you had the Self-Confidence of your favorite Hero?
Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Carolynn Cobb shows you how to crush life’s obstacles with this 7-step method of navigating life by using your super powers. Yes, you have Super Powers! It’s time to dust them off and start living the life you were meant to live.
Learn how to Trust Yourself, Make Good Decisions, Build Your Self-Confidence, Be Resilient, Creative, and Grounded. Take Action like a Super Hero. You don’t have to Look Like a Super Hero to BE ONE!
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A breath holding, edge of your seat thriller, Race Against Madness tracks the disturbing game a serial killer plays with his victims. But this time…one victim refuses to lose.
The game is on, the clock is ticking, and winning means the difference between life and death.
Adam Webber has been invisible for most of his life. But even as the girl of his dreams begins to notice him, both of their lives take a drastic turn for the worse as they catch the eye of a serial killer.
As lead detective on the case, Joe Gordon finds he must confront his past if he is to save another's future. But when he catches the trail of bread crumbs Adam is leaving behind, he realizes it's not the killer he needs to find but his latest targets.
With Joe hot on his heels, Adam must navigate the streets of Chicago and face his fears if he ever wants to see the girl of his dreams again. He has until the break of dawn to solve the riddle and save the girl.
With her signature style of fast paced action and daring suspense, along with a splash of humor and romance, Andi Neal once again delivers an electrifying thriller you won’t be able to put down.
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FREE KOBO BOOK
What Roble wants to create is illegal...if not impossible.
And everyone seems determined to stop him from trying. But when a few unrepentant ladies join his fight to live free, the Las Vegas desert is going to light up like the 4th of July.
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"If you want a cross-breed between an Ayn Rand novel and a techno-thriller, this is the best you'll read." --Amazon reviewer
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Quote from the back cover:
Alexa counted her shallow breaths. "Roble, what...what is it you need?"
He pulled his arrowhead out from his shirt and rubbed it. "I don't need to hear how scary the world is and how I shouldn't try anything. I don't need to know how much suffering there is out there," he pointed out the window, "or how bad I should feel about it. What I need..." he looked up, his grey eyes pleading, "...is to see someone who is still happy after growing up."
Lowering his head, he added, "I need to see living, Ms. Patra, because I actually want to live."
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Quote from inside:
The East China Sea glistened like an endless glass sheet. The F-22 Raptor Super Kai flashed just above its surface, ripping twin aerated water plumes into the air.
A grey destroyer sat broadside in the water just ahead. Roble hurtled toward its bow without slowing.
Crossing above the ship, the jet's sonic shockwave rocked sailors to the deck as if Roble's soul had exploded through their bodies. Sea spray from the wake doused the ship's hull like an exclamation point.
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Advisory: This novel contains sex, drugs, and fighter jets.
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With The Journey, Brandon Bays developed a simple but profoundly effective approach for healing body and mind that inspired an international bestselling self-help classic.
Kevin Billett experienced the healing power of this work when he freed himself from 30 years of depression using Journeywork. He then joined Brandon in developing the work into a worldwide self-healing method.
In this compelling and experiential book, the authors unmask some common fallacies about depression, set about redefining it, and show step-by-step how we can uncover and fully heal its real root causes.
By distilling important Journey teachings and sharing personal examples they show how we too can discover the innate positivity, fulfillment and joy that lies deep inside us all.
Using the comprehensive guided introspections in this book, no matter whether we experience depression or simply feel stressed, anxious or ‘blue’, we can set ourselves free to live fulfilling and meaningful lives, at peace and in alignment with our real purpose.